Words At Arm’s Length

Why? WHY?!

…for the love of Pete, WHY?!

I can almost picture Milton and Alighieri sitting up on a cloud, participating in a box office gross dick-swinging contest.

It hurts my head.

Thank you, Dan Savage. That was incredibly awesome and I am still blushing. CAN’T BELIEVE IT.

Okay, now, on to some business:

I watched a lot of the Obama press onslaught last night and dear fucking God if he doesn’t have this election locked yet I’ll eat my hat. I FULLY ENCOURAGE any Americans who can vote to not think just of your own country this election (’cause I’m a selfish prick like that). Think of your poor neighbours to the North, like ME, whose country seems to culturally ape your own even when it’s rarely EVER in our best interest. Vote Obama, vote to legalize gay marriage, vote in favour of a woman’s right to choose so the Conservative fuckwits in our country that use your policies like a goddamn cheat sheet will keep Canada the pseudo-socialist haven it should be.

Or, you know, do it so your own country doesn’t spiral into some dystopian nightmare where your fellow citizens are treated like second-class because of their orientation, gender or race.

Personal news: Master plan to move to Toronto is in motion. I have interviews on the horizon. Life is on an upswing.

To what does heaven yield
but the ashen voice
breathing the Rapture
suck in the holy air
gulp down heaven
to soothe your gravel tones
Heaven will yield to
a choking supplicant
one whose worship
is caught in cords
your praise is heard
so rest your weary bones

It almost seems counter-intuitive, but when my homework is creating seminar questions for my 19th Century American Women writers class, the appeal of the blogosphere seems a bit more apparent. Thank Christ it’s for Emily Dickinson and Kate Chopin and not more Alcott.

Okay, so I’m about 30 episodes into the Savage Lovecast and I basically want to be Dan Savage forever. He basically does what I do with my friends except he gets paid for it and has about 30 trillion listeners.

I’m blogging early today so I’m not up until 6am (again) begging for sleep. I dunno what the fuck has happened to me over the past week, but my attempt to correct my sleep schedule has backfired completely and my “in bed by 1am” plan has turned into a “I hope I’m awake by 2pm” plan. I’m not even gonna fucking try to sleep tonight.

Oh, one of the books I got from my birthday, Poetry As Insurgent Art by Ferlinghetti, needs to be read by all. It’s an oldie but a goodie. And it’s friggin’ tiny. I don’t think I ever studied Ferlinghetti in my Modern Poetry classes, but damn, I love his stuff. If you like Ginsberg, you’ll like Ferlinghetti.

I haven’t done a music post in a while, so let’s round ‘em up again:

#10. “Your Future Looks Bright” by Meho Plaza

I first encountered this band on Pitchfork’s Infinite Playlist about 2 years ago, and they just released their first LP this year. It’s noisy, avant-garde punk with what music critics would refer to as “angular” guitar riffs. It’s highly danceable but definitely has enough nuance to just sit and listen to. The subdued, moaning vocals contrast very nicely with the onslaught of guitar, synthed bassline and straightforward drumming. The little talky parts in between up the weird factor a bit, too. This would make a fantastic indie night song.

#9. “Bottle Rocket” by The Go! Team

The most fun track on an incredibly fun album, “Bottle Rocket” is the Go! Team to me in a nutshell. That weird accordion sample coupled with playful party rhymes and that “TWO FOUR SIX EIGHT TEN” chant at the end just makes me want to bust the most ridiculous moves.

#8. “Young Eucharists” by Parenthetical Girls

I continue to pimp this bizarre album, and this song in particular, because it perfectly demonstrates why this will be in my top 10 for the end of the year. Incredibly pretty strings and woodwinds playfully accent the disturbing imagery and Pennington’s falsetto. When things get really disturbing (“but the tender, taught and innocent / freckled flesh I tampered with”) the harpsichord kicks in for a rather astounding climax.

#7. “Rebel Girl” by Bikini Kill

My Rock Band-flavoured pick. I’ve been into Le Tigre for a while but never really delved into Kathleen Hanna’s older work. Stupid me. Straight up Riot Grrl with Hanna’s nasal voice lauding (in a tongue-in-cheek way, of course) her generic female hero. A good way to spend two and a half minutes.

#6. “Deceptacon” by Le Tigre

Oh, and speaking of Le Tigre, everyone’s favourite track makes its appearance. This song is always a blast to dance to, and it remains an indie night staple because it’s such a perfect “fuck you” to whatever scenester you happened to have just broken up with at the time, and everyone just screams along to the song. Plus, best video ever:

#5. “Sound of Water – Change Your Mind” by Sarah Slean

Sarah Slean is one of those artists that always makes really beautiful music, it’s just that some of it isn’t really all that interesting. One of many exceptions, though, is this song. An awesome string hook plays off against Slean’s bass clef piano and soaring vocals. Her lyrics are what really get me on this one, though: “This ain’t the world for intelligent women / Unless you like swimmin’ in your own dark sea. / These are times for urgent rhymes / But where the poetry?” Bitchin’.

#4. “Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse” by of Montreal

Yeah, I SHOULD be listening to the new album, but fuck that, this is Kevin Barnes at his most pop-perfect, and every time I get frustrated by Skeletal Lamping, I come back to this track to remind myself why I got into of Montreal in the first place. Oh that synth hook. So delightfully weird and fun, in spite of the song being about your anti-depressants fucking you up. Gold.

#3. “First Communion” by Gang Gang Dance

This song just reeks of sex. The drumline, the bubbly synth, the snaking guitar riff, they all just make me want to dance or fuck. The vocals are barely intelligible, but just add to the sexy, smoky atmosphere of the song. This isn’t even the best track on Gang Gang Dance’s amazing Saint Dymphna, but at 3 minutes it’s the easiest to snack on, and it’s the one I play for people as an introduction to the band. I will request this every time I go out dancing, I don’t care what kind of club I’m at.

#2. “You Go On Ahead (Black Cab Session” by Sunset Rubdown

Oh Spencer Krug, the things you do to me. I really didn’t think I’d get much play out of this song, given that it’s a rough cut of a new, apparently unfinished song played in the back of a London cab, but it’s just so astoundingly good that I can’t get enough of it. They played the rearranged version of the song at their show in Toronto last week and it sounded even better then (which also explains its re-emergence on my top 10). Lyrically, Krug hits the nail on the head again, with my favourite lines in a song ever: “I’d like to watch the white flesh of your heels as they take turns / Breaking desert heat to beckon me in languages I’ve never learned”. Mr. Krug, please release your new album right the hell now so I can enjoy the final, mixed version forever and ever, amen.

#1. “Sleepyhead” by Passion Pit

This is the song I posted yesterday, and it’s been on repeat since then. The song just sparkles. The vocal sampling and crystalline synths give it the dreamy quality implied by the title, and the falsetto vocals that should grate on the nerves are pushed just far back enough in the mix to drift over the track. It’ll be interesting to see what this band pulls out for a full LP, ’cause their EP, Chunk of Change, is pretty damn awesome.

C’est tout! I’m pretty sure most of these track are available on YouTube, but if you want me to send stuff leave a comment and I’ll post some links.

As much as I want to follow the American election and remain informed about foreign affairs, shit like this just drives me to stick my head in the sand. I am astounded on a regular basis by how much racist assholes have to delude themselves to see the world how they do. It’s such a fragile illusion, too, because when faced with any kind of logic whatsoever, their fucking heads explode and their just rant and rave incoherently. If you can stand to watch any of the Rush Limbaugh vids in the first link for any amount of time before getting sick on his ignorant bile, just look how fervently he insists that Colin Powell’s endorsement of Obama is racially motivated, and how this seems to justify Limbaugh’s own racism in some fucked up, oblique manner.

So yeah, I’m seriously considering limiting my own access to the blogs I read just to keep my blood pressure down. I’m so fucking glad, in spite of the new Conservative minority, to live in Canada. Yeah, the racism is there, and if you look for it you’ll find it, but it’s not bandied about so obviously (like in fucking NATIONAL ADS that show Obama with a noose hanging ever-so-near WTF IS THAT ABOUT). Just a few more weeks of this nonsense.

Another year has passed in the life of Paul. I’m 23 now, I had a glorious weekend and I’m using this as a bookend for my more excessive ways. I had a goal this weekend to not get too intoxicated at my birthday party, which of course failed because I’m still figuring out this whole “say no to alcohol” business. As far as I recall there were no injuries physical or otherwise on Saturday night, to myself or any of my guests, so I dodged yet another bullet and hope against hope that I wasn’t too irritating/embarrassing.

The traditional grandparents’ dinner was surprisingly less awkward than usual. My grandfather and I remain politically opposed to each other, with his habitual conservativism conflicting rather fiercely with my rampant liberalism and queerness. We kept it pleasant for most of the evening, but of course the recent election came up and I was feeling pretty scrappy, so we ended up debating a bit while the rest of the table tried to talk around us. I respect my grandpa a lot, but we have a pretty typical old school/new school relationship that just makes me roll my eyes most of the time. My grandma’s inevitable reproach is the only thing that keeps me from asking my grandpa straight up if his gay grandson should have the right to marry whichever corduroy-wearing, Neruda-reading hipster artfag that finally melts his cold, socialist heart.

Speaking of which, where are all the queer men at? Oh, that’s right, Toronto. Saturday was lovely for the no-pressure aspect of the evening. No gay men in sight = Paul acts like his normal (drunken) self. But, y’know, the possibility of a birthday hook-up that doesn’t require making arrangements prior via e-mail would be fucking swell. And thus:

Game plan: Get the fuck out of St. Catharines as soon as possible.

Method: Obtain job -> work relentlessly -> save money -> find job in Toronto -> find apartment -> move.

I’ve been listening to the Savage Lovecast lately (like, 20 episodes in the past few days) and Mr. Dan Savage keeps telling his closeted gay listeners to move the fuck out of their conservative towns. It’s about time I did the same, I think. I’m still operating, essentially, as a closeted gay man. I’m not taking any chances with my life, really, and it’ll be too late soon enough. I’ve been burned in the past by my “big city” relationships, but I never really considered cutting the cord of the natal home and just living how I want to live. The Korea thing was a potential step, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it’s not what I want. Moving into a conservative country with no gay scene at all? No thanks. I don’t really fucking know what I want at all, to be honest, besides writing for the rest of my life in some capacity, but I’ve been in this city for my whole life and I’ve yet to stumble upon anything that has me truly fulfilled.

Anyhow, enough whining. Watch this video for “Sleepyhead” by Passion Pit. The song is fucking rad.

Bleh. The more things change the more they stay the same, as they say. The Conservative party won yet another minority in this election and I can’t say I’m particularly surprised. I’m very, very pleased that Harper didn’t get his way in this Election, thanks in large part to his recent crime and arts legislations that totally fucked him over in Quebec. It was dicey for a while there, with the Liberals getting unseated in the GTA of all places, but Harper’s zero-hour fuck up cost him a bunch of ridings in Montreal. Rick Mercer’s commentary seemed pretty accurate, stating that Harper had everything going for him for a majority and he still couldn’t pull it off. He won’t get a second chance, so, for now, all hail the status quo.

In spite of all this, I found this election pretty interesting to watch. The Green Party getting no seats in Parliament was surprising to me, although May’s loss to Peter McKay seemed like a given. Justin Trudeau’s win in Papineau made me rather gleeful, but only because I’m shallow and he’s a very good-looking man. Speaking of Liberals, the very idea of Dion remaining Leader of the Opposition is frightening, laughable and highly unlikely. Chances are it’ll come down to Rae or Ignatieff, and I’m hoping for the latter in spite of his near-feral demeanour during an interview with CBC tonight. He’s gotta sand down his edges before he takes up the lead, not that the Liberals couldn’t use some backbone after Dion.

The NDP continues to gain ground, which makes me a happy panda. I was thinking of strategic voting after my friend Luke made a very convincing argument, but the more blue signs I saw in my riding, the more I felt compelled to show my support to the NDP. And hey, hindsight 20/20, it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. Rick Dykstra won by nearly 8800 votes this time around while last time he won by a mere 246 votes. The swing back to conservativism in this area wasn’t much of a shock to me, but oh! how disappointing.

Whatevs, the CBC panel said that it’d be about 2 years before the next election and I wouldn’t even give it that long. If Ignatieff moves in as Opposition Leader he’ll pull the trigger on Harper pretty soon.

Now to catch up on American politics so I have something else to bitch about for the next month.

In times of giving up I’m at my worst
The surface is and therein lies
the serpent tongue and hearty grin
But I can only analyze myself so much
I can only run the numbers until
some semblance of order appears
a set of starsigns plotted out
on sand or surf or sky
These are words I’ve said before
and will say again
and mean every time
and still the surface is

Hideous starsigns
Beacons of hope and
liars of the High Order
lead me into the vacant city
They show me things that could be made here
Sturdy pillars and mighty trees
and hands as coarse as bark

Curse these soft hands that at their tips
give hints to a hopeful glow
Inviting touch but fearing the dark
of a callous nature
A fear that cannot subside when
the glow will dim as sure as the stars will shift
And all that’s left are two hands
clapsed together in a final bid
to bring about the light again

1. Jack Layton

He’s just such an effective speaker, and was able to use common vernacular while maintaining a professional and direct message. He consistently and effectively attacked Stephen Harper’s policies and seemed to be the most consistent in his talk about his platform. Besides May, he had the most to say about stimulating the economy through environmental initiatives and the implementation of social programs. I was thinking Green before, but my vote’s going to the NDP. Too bad it won’t make a difference in my riding.

2. Stephen Harper

I hate to say it, but he did really well considering he was being attacked four ways and was constantly being mentioned in the same breath as George W. Bush. He kept his cool and responded surprisingly well to most of the criticisms against his actions in Parliament, though he got crucified on enviromental issues, the Atlantic Accord, and when Dion compared his minimum mandatory sentence policy (Bill C-2, for those keeping track) to that of the US. I’m afraid we haven’t heard the last from this guy.

3. Elizabeth May

Well, for someone who probably shouldn’t have been there, Elizabeth May was probably the most enlightening of the candidates. She had so many facts under her belt and was mostly able to wield them effectively. However, her rhetoric devolved into politi-speak a lot and her voice just lingered when the moderator called time on almost every issue, which just irked me. She would make an awesome cabinet minister.

4. Stephane Dion

So so SO glad he nailed Harper on Bill C-2, but otherwise I found him to be too soft. Language barrier aside, he was the most off-topic of all the candidates (besides Duceppe) and simply doesn’t have the presence that Harper and Layton have in spades. I think I’m going to hunt down the French debate to see how he performed there, so I can paint a more accurate picture of his policies. When it came down to the question about trust in politics, he seemed to waffle. And Layton totally slammed him when he said he was a poor opposition leader, which I’ve agree with wholeheartedly for a loooong time.

5. Gilles Duceppe

Was it just me, or did he come off as a bit off his rocker? I was shocked when he outright admitted that he wasn’t going to be Prime Minister (and I’m pretty sure he said the same of Layton and May), but that moment of truth didn’t allay my suspicions that he’s a bit nutty. Of course, he differentiated Canadians and the Quebecois, but what really got me is that he failed to use his time effectively. Instead of acknowledging his language barrier in English and sticking to the facts, he used way too much anecdotal rhetoric, which really bogged him down.

So yeah, Jack Layton for PM, please. And if they could agree to disagree, have May as Environment Minister. I would be such a happy camper.

Likely, though, Conservatives will maintain power in the upcoming election, and that makes me a sad panda.